Diary w/c Tuesday 16th
Got up at around 745. Maybe 730. Happy. Did ablusions. Cup of old coffee in microwave. Ate an Apple and the remainder of that strange fractal Romanesco broccoli.
Now striding to Starbucks for fresh filter. Full of ‘Storm’ by Godspeed You! Black Emperor! which puts my mind at ease. Tonight is curry club. Pinto beans and black eyed bean
(actually peas), change of plan Glenn can’t make Wednesday.
Nice lady smiled at me and touched my shoulder. Good shoes. Got an hour to kill, not going to be early to mental health as might bump into family from hell from 2 weeks ago.
And what is wrong with just being on time to an appointment. Usually it feels like I need preparation in my head, but do I actually. Just drifting on. Happy!
Heard from Scarlett – just the occasional hello makes me so relieved and blissful.
I am not always that friendly. Tuesday 12:30. Some Indian guy tried to connect, but I think I was preoccupied by what hannah had discussed with me. I have to stop being cold towards people.
Not much happened today, no money so stayed inside. Hoovered up, etc. Changed the position of a few things in my room. Did some washing. Good quiet day really.
I’ve not had any problems since Tuesday session. No feelings of unworth. Strange I feel calm, the weather helps. Off to sign on. Southern house is an ‘anti job’ centre . No drinking no mobile phones no smoking no jobs. The amount of litter everywhere and the kind of ragged people and the continual noise from the A64. Not nice. Get me away from here. Waiting.
Got to Wetherby and took Mr. Dogg for a couple of hours walk. He almost swam across the river. Chasing the ball for a long time. He seems happy: I am happy.
Why do I always eat unhealthly at my mothers. It’s 21:24 on Thursday and I’m tucking into a mozarella cheese and tomato toastie! Good book though. I can hear snoops’ belly rumbling…
A certain person is missing at 9:02am so there is a different dynamic in the SEN quarter. I think that says something? Maggie Brown: not much to say to me – no eye contact. All the other TA’s seem smiley, though. Almost all of them.I have tried all day to engage all staff in conversations and smiling. With some there isn’t any smiles. I have tried to be less confrontational and more approachable in school, however had an issue or two in Science. Unable to get certain boys to behave. Left there head scrambled. My mood is changing as the bus is late. Suddenly all my desires are fading away. The happiness of the last week feels far away…How did guns and roses come round twice? Far out. We must be going through the eighties again! Suddenly hungry for chizandfips and all I have is a current bun.
I have to record a green slip on Monday for __, __ and __. it’s all I can do as they didn’t take any notice of me between lessons.
Worked until 9pm at the o2 and hung around for a couple of minutes. Not too bothered about New Model Army. Master make me new. 00:17 Saturday Candi Staton remix! Urgh. 3 pints of Guinness in Chapel Allerton and missed the bus. Hung around until 1am to get a taxi with __ and __.
Feel like I’ve had a quiet weekend. Was too late to meet my sister to take Snoops for a walk on Saturday – not communicating clearly with her. Bought some provisions from Tesco’s. Made lasagne/bechamel sauce Saturday night and had 2 bottles of beer. Went to bed happy and tired.
Woke up at 8 am watched a bit of iPlayer, realise I am struggling money wise to get home…silly boy. All I needed was £3.20, but I spent that yesterday on provisions. £12.00. Had enough of no money, depressing, hope I hear from the organic shop next week, thinking positive?
Think I got chatted up by a girl on Friday. She made me feel good. I was very relaxed in her company. Relaxed: comes across. Got a date from plentyoffish.com first time in 1.5 years of hoping. Mojito evenings, but mustn’t get my hopes up too much? Home made tortillas? Sun and fun. Sunday 1800.
Tune: Heaven & Earth; earth feel the spirit. Nice.
Off to Mum’s for Monday TA course. Bought a bottle of wine to celebrate Mum’s birthday on Friday. Nice night. Went to bed and read for a while.
Slept well – woke up at 7am snoozed until 745am. Got up made tortellini and mushroom, a brew and ran the bath. Went to college and made an effort to sit with the girls – everyone seemed happy to connect and talk to me. Worked with __ and __ on a power point presentation had a laugh. Got my head polished! Had my observation, which I was panicking about. The usual 2 year sevens a nightmare…but __ was great and I think __ thought I did really well! Happy as Larry. Saw __ in the corridor and made out there must be 2 of him as he moved so fast!
Back home to Roundhay, HM baked beans and HM Pitta breads…Nice. Cool.
Week score out of 10…7.